***Disclaimer – I am a Christian. The opinions that I write on this website are written from a Christian worldview. I believe in a sovereign God and that I am saved by grace. I don’t write this to force my beliefs on anyone else, but rather to share my own perspective.
1. You don’t have to be perfect.
If I asked you if you believed you absolutely had to be a perfect mom, you would probably say no. Obviously no one can be a perfect Mom. However, I would like to consider that even though we might not believe it when asked point blank; a lot of us still feel guilt because we don’t measure up. Measure up to what? Society’s picture of a “perfect mother” has changed through the ages and will continue it’s metamorphosis so that no one can keep up. I will face failures and struggles; I will never be “perfect.” More then my child needs a “perfect” Mom, my child needs a Mom who models God’s grace when facing failures and hardships. Because just as I will face them, one day my child will too.
I am blessed and freed because I am covered by God’s grace, and if there’s anything that I want my child to understand, it’s God’s grace. But for my baby to see God’s grace in me, she has to see my iniquities, because “in our weakness, He is made strong.” I never want to burden my daughter with my own suffering, but at appropriate timing, I want to be authentic with her. For her to know that her Mom is a real person, that must rely on God. Honestly, I’m not entirely sure what that will look like on a day to day basis, but thankfully I have women in my life who are wiser then I, who can model that for me.
2. You are unique (and so is your child).
You and your child(ren) are beautifully and purposefully unique. You have individual life experiences, gifts and priorities that are factors in your “mommying.” We should learn from and celebrate our differences as Moms! There are Biblical truths that stand the test of time when it comes to good parenting, but a lot of things are subjective. My parents were urged about the necessity of sleeping a baby on their stomach, but when I became a parent it was considered safer for babies to sleep on their backs. I absolutely believe that parents should do what is best for their children; there is merit to a lot of non-biblical guidance (like sleeping positions).
However, my husband and I have our own priorities for our children that have been laid on our hearts. They might not be the same as your priorities, but they don’t have to be. Those are the priorities that God placed on YOUR unique heart for YOUR unique child. I don’t believe that God intended for a cookie cutter perfect Mom for everyone; He’s more complex then that. He has matched your child(ren) with you and that is perfect.
3. There are seasons.
Everyone goes through difference seasons of parenting. In my experience, the seasons are like a paradox in that they can fly by and drag slowly at the same time. We might never all go through the same seasons as Moms; we all have difference circumstances. Ironically though, we are bonded by that feeling of not going through the same season. The feeling that comes when you are home with your child(ren), feeling lost and unsure of what to do.
Regardless of the circumstances, we have all been there and can offer one another comfort. Never think that there is something wrong with you because no one else seems to be going through the same season as you. You are not alone. Maybe no one you know has walked the exact same path as you, but people can love you and empathize with you without knowing exactly what you’re going through. On the same note, we don’t have to completely understand someone’s season in order to show them love and support.
“Never think that there is something wrong with you because no one else seems to be going through the same season as you.” Tweet This!
4. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
If you have spent much time in Christian circles, this is probably a phrase you hear often. Sadly, it’s the phrases we hear often that can begin to sound mute to us, at least it has to me. Yes, you are a Mom, but you are also a fearfully and wonderfully made woman; one does not cancel the other out. You have individual value that makes you the Mom that are meant to be. Mom’s tend to be sacrificial people, but while you are serving your family, don’t lose the value that God has placed on you. You are unconditionally loved and valued, even though it might not always feel that way.
Stephanie says
I needed to read this today. Thank you.
Lauren says
Thank you for reading. π
Jenni Laplow says
This is great! Easy reminders that are forgotten when finding my own motherhood. “You don’t have to be perfect” always seems like a struggle for me, so I try to remind myself of this regularly π thank you for sharing!
Lauren says
Thanks Jenni. Perfection is definitely something I struggle with too.
Kim says
Beautiful post. I know many moms who would benefit from reading this. This job is hard and beautiful – sometimes within the same minute. We are all made by God’s grace – and we need to keep reaching out to one another.
Lauren says
Thank you Kim. I absolutely agree, I minute can contain a multitude of emotions; it’s hard to stay grounded.
Casey says
That is so correct! Each child is UNIQUE and so are we! That’s great because I think some people think we should all fit in a box.
Lauren says
I absolutely agree with you Casey! So often people seem to think that our family should look like theirs, but that’s not the case. Thanks for reading!
Liz says
I loved the last one. We try so hard to do things for our kids that we neglect or lose oursleves. When we try to go out and get some of oursleves back people can make comments about us being out which make us feel bad for holding onto our identity. New moms need to know that it is okay to miss our old selves and to keep doing some of the things we used to do.
Lauren says
I love how you worded that! It’s something I’m currently struggling with; thanks for reading!
McKinzie @ Moms Make Cents says
Being a new mom is such a tough transition. I remember the first few weeks after bringing my baby home I felt like I had to do everything. I wish I hadn’t been so hard on myself!
Lauren says
I absolutely agree McKinzie. Thanks for reading!
Anna says
This is a beautiful post. As a mom of two kiddos (with two totally different personalities) I stress all the time about being the perfect parent. But the truth is…no one is perfect!
Thank you for sharing!
XO,
Anna
http://www.blushingrosestyle.com
Lauren says
Thank you Anna!
tineke - workingmommyabroad says
Yess to all of this! Maybe i should remind my inlaws that each child is unique, so that their awesome experience (from almost 40 years ago) doesnΒ΄t alway mean something for my kid π
val says
Great list of advice for new mommas – the seasons piece especially. During any trying time, I try to remind myself that everything with kids is temporary (good and bad).
Lauren says
That’s a great perspective Val! Thanks for reading.
Fatima says
What a sweet post! So many moms don’t hear the good side of what it means to be a mama. We’re always told about the stretchmarks, the heartaches, etc. that we need to hear it from other moms that we’re doing well. π
Lauren says
I absolutely agree with you Fatima! There is far too much gloom and doom associated with motherhood; when it’s one of the most amazing things a person can do! Thanks for reading.
Joanna says
“You don’t have to be perfect.” Sigh… so much yes. I love this post!
Lauren says
Thanks Joanna. π
Nicole Banuelos says
Loved reading this! These reminders are spot on!
Lauren says
Thanks Nicole. π
jehava says
What a beautiful post! As a mom to 3 boys, I couldn’t agree more! Thanks for sharing!
Lauren says
Thank you Jehava. π
Julie McLelland says
What a great article. It’s just a season, I have to tell myself that all the time.
Lauren says
Thanks Julie, I absolutely agree with you.