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I love my baby girl so much and want to learn and grow as a Mom, so that I can give her all that I can. I appreciate wisdom from more experienced people. Maybe this has happened to you but I have heard some wisdom and thought, “Wow, that was wise and insightful. I would like that to change some things in my family.” However, I’m not exactly sure what that change would look like. Usually, this is because the wisdom remained abstract. In this post I hope to take some abstract wisdom and make it more applicable to our everyday lives.
One of my favorite avenues of wisdom is a good book. Obviously, no book is completely accurate outside of the Bible. You have to filter the information. For my family, I found a lot of wisdom in a book I just read, The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively. In the book, Gary Chapman introduces the idea that people, specifically children, communicate and receive love in 5 different ways. These languages are quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service and gifts. The book goes into more detail and I highly recommend reading it!
After reading the book, I wanted to write down some ideas of expressing these love languages, specifically to my toddler. Often, if it’s not written down near me, I won’t remember it. (I guess that’s mommy brain?) Anyway, I thought that I would share it, in case somebody else might find it useful.
Love Language #1 – Quality Time
I have to be honest. Quality time was especially convicting for me. I can be with my daughter all day, without my mind ever fully being there. It’s so easy to get caught up in my to-do’s and possibilities in my own head! Sometimes life gets busy, but I want to try to make sure that I spend focused time with her every day, even if it’s only for a few minutes. These were some ideas I had for my family.
- Put away all screens for a set amount of time
- Have a special outing
- Read books together
- Explore together (this can just be a kitchen cabinet or the backyard)
- Follow the Leader
Love Language #2 – Words of Affirmation
Words of affirmation made me think. My toddler doesn’t speak fluently, but I know that she understands what I say. She understands the tone I use and the emotion behind it. She understands the difference between encouragement and resentment. I will never be perfect with my words. James tells us that no man can bridle the tongue. Prayerfully, I want to be careful about the words (and tones) I bestow upon my little girl. I want to be purposeful with the words I say, knowing the impact they make. Here are some more specific ways I want to encourage my little girl.
- Encouraging her in her pursuits
- Express appreciation for my child (not just her accomplishments)
- Noticing her (“I noticed that you like that book.”)
- Praising her character, rather than the results of her character
Love Language #3 – Physical Touch
I think this comes so naturally with little ones. They are so cute and cuddly! These might seem a bit obvious, but I’ll write them down anyway.
- a gentle back rub (my daughter LOVES this)
- a long hug
- kisses
- holding hands
- cuddles (especially with books!)
Love Language #4 – Acts of Service
Acts of service are such a natural part of parenthood! Sometimes it feels like all I do are acts of service for my daughter. She’s young and can’t do a lot on her own. A lot of times my acts of service are done out of habit or even obligation. I think the difference is purposely doing an act of service with the intention of communicating love. Intentions can make all the difference in how something is communicated. It would be hard to list ALL the possible acts of service a parent does, so here are just a few ideas.
- fixing her favorite food
- changing diapers
- carrying her when she’s tired
- setting an example of servant-leadership
Love Language #5 – Receiving Gifts
The first time I saw this category, my thought was, “I can’t spend a bunch of money!” Giving a gift doesn’t always have to mean dropping cash! This isn’t meant to be materialistic. A gift is special when it’s personal. When it says, “I was thinking about you specifically.” Here are some “gift” ideas specifically for a toddler.
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- a sticker
- a flower or interesting rock
- an edible treat
- a photograph (my daughter LOVES tangible pictures)
- a drawing
- a craft
- a toy she already owns, but has forgotten about, presented in a fun bag
I’m not a perfect parent!
Reading this book, 5 Love Languages for Children, has been convicting, encouraging and given me inspiration. I know that I will never be a perfect parent, but I hope that I can constantly be growing. This is a slight overview of the wonderful wisdom in this book, if you’d like to learn more you can find the latest edition of the book here. I hope that these ideas are helpful to you! I’m definitely not the most experienced parent and I would love to hear from you!
Love these reminders on ways to be better! Especially the part about being present. It’s so easy to get distracted and while I might be physically sharing space with my littles, that doesn’t mean I’m fully engaged and truly spending quality time with them. They grow up way too fast and I can always to do better with the way we spend time together! Thank you!
Thanks Alexis! I agree, it’s so easy to be there without being ALL there! Happy Thursday!
Such great reminders! I think my favorite are “intentional acts of service” and “intentional gifts”. I forget to make it a point that it’s something special rather than just rewards for good behavior, etc. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks so much Vivianna! I’m definitely guilty of getting caught up in tasks and forgetting to be intentional with my little. I got to look at your blog and it looks great! I look forward to reading your posts in the future. 🙂
I have been wanting to read this book, yet as much as I enjoy reading, it is so hard me to find time to read (mom struggles!) I appreciate what you have shared here, especially the idea that we should view the things we do for our children as an “act of service,” rather than an obligation. How beautiful the little things we give can be when they come from a place of love. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you so much! I totally understand! It took me a long time to finish this book, haha. It really convicted me to keep my heart and motives in check.
Very sweet post! My toddler wants to spend all day long hiding under the covers. (He likes to play hide and seek with the big kids, but I guess he just likes to play “hide” when they aren’t home. haha!) I should try to be more intentional about some of the other parts of this list, but I’m pretty sure we hit all of them each day. Some things to think about here!
Thank you so much! Your toddler sounds sweet. 🙂
I have a fifteen month old daughter (and four sons) and these were such good reminders, especially quality time- putting away distractions and focusing on her. Thanks!
Thanks for stopping by!
I appreciate these thoughts! It’s never too early to start showing love to our children in the way they best receive it. I’ll be pondering this one for a while. So glad I visited from Titus 2 Tuesday! 🙂
Thanks so much for visiting! I’m glad you linked “When to Pray When You Don’t Have Time to Pray.” Thanks for sharing!
These are excellent. I struggle with paying enough attention to my little one because I’m so preoccupied with cooking, cleaning, working etc. Pinning, stumbling and tweeting this. Happy Friday!
Thank you so much Lindsey! I’m right there with you. It’s really easy to stay task-oriented. Happy Friday!
I love this…it’s sooo good to remember how to love them just the way they need loving!
Thanks Gretchen! It’s definitely something I have to try to keep in mind. It’s easy to get caught up in my to-dos for the day. Thanks for stopping by!
Thank you for sharing! I’ve had the book on my bookshelf for years, and I think I need to finally get it and read it, as my oldest is already 5 years old! I’ve been convicted a lot recently about needing to stop whatever I’m doing, and actually spending time with my chili peppers. It’s so easy to get caught up in the things around me and stuff I feel like I need to get done, that I forget in the moment that my sweet boys are more important than my tasks.
Thanks for reading Kaylin! Me too; at the beginning of the day I’m all about my to-do lists. Balancing that with making sure I’m loving on my daughter is a constant tightrope walk.
Thank you for writing such a sweet humble article. It is a great reminder that we can communicate love in so many different ways and not only praising and saying well done.
Thank you so much Alina!